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apartment journal - recent 'life as performance'

sep. 8e, 2009 | 10:50 pm


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dedicated to chris

juil. 9e, 2008 | 11:57 pm
music: jeff buckely version


Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

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skills i want to work on

juin. 25e, 2008 | 11:54 pm

- screen printing
- gold leafing
- web designing
- painting

- writing letters to family
- not worrying about what other people (will) think
- spending less time on the computer

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avr. 20e, 2008 | 07:48 pm


we all sleep under the same stars

we all wish for the same cause

my  heart beats in your heart

your heart beats in my heart ...

and we are still a little undone

my heart beats in your heart..
your heart beats....


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"softening the edges"

mar. 9e, 2008 | 12:09 am

print -media project ... at midnight after sewing for 6 hours... the wings come to being..

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(pas de sujets)

mar. 9e, 2008 | 12:01 am

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mar. 8e, 2008 | 03:05 pm

- i don't have enough these days


things i am grateful for:

1. being human
2. my wealth
3. my family for always trying
4. the people that care for me
5. my talents
6. canada
7. buddha
8. dharma friends
9. health

- chris' friendship and support...

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fév. 16e, 2008 | 11:10 pm


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jan. 24e, 2008 | 09:59 pm

well.. a series of my friends are having babies currently... like lots... so i thought why is this journal stuff always about me? so.. over the next little while i am going to post little tributes to all my friends and their new little editions with the intention to remember it myself when the days turn into years and also to honor these beings in my life and send love to them...

soooo... i guess i can begin with my sister since she just had her baby..

little sofia madaline klassen. born December 10, 2007, 3 days before my own birthday.
she was supposed to be born right on my birthday but she wanted to be original so she came a few days early, don't blame her. it was a good 10 hours from the time malann's water broke until little sofia came out. I think i was in the midst of writing finals and pretty tired but i do remember the moment i found out, it was 3 am and i woke in the night wondering why dad hadn't called me to tell me the baby was born, all sorts of things went through my  mind, was malann okay? what's going on???!!! so i called him up and lo and behold, (so like my dad) he had fallen asleap again after he got the phone call.. indeed she was born, a little girl, even though everyone thought she was going to be a boy... everyone but Meeee that is... auntie sarah... yup thats me!
she was born in winnipeg so that means her flower is the prarie crocus!
here she is!

next up is hmmm.. i don't think i can keep track so i will just do those with baby's born and then those who are still carrying..
kay so then we have maybe my cousin's twins.. these are her second and third ones.. wowzers! LELA and NEVEYA.. i can't believe she survived it! my gosh! look at them looking at each other.. this was their first time being put together out of the womb! must be strange to have shared 9 months in a womb then out into the craziness of the world all by yourself! born ummm April 27th! good old facebook!

and her other little one.. EMMA

Next is step brother MATTY POWEL. also on his second one! my gosh! FREJAis their first and little EIR was born i think in october of 2007...
here she is with dady


Then... barrette labonte... also his second little girl called

Aina 'Kai born January 2008 - congratulations papa bonte!

Then i believe Courtney Townsend and Oscar is next with thier little boy, still in the belly but now overdue! I think last we spoke she was leaning towards the name Alejandro... here she is beautiful radiant mother to be.. i will never forget the closeness developed between her and i during her pregnancy... way to go little baby, good way to bring people together! updates when baby is born to come!

then my good old friend NUMA MAKENZIE... one of those radiant little beings that comes into your life and keeps on shinning, I am really happy that this happened to him because it forced him to stand by someone even when he thought he didn't want to... and now he and Shawn are expecting little baby COCONUT. such a perfect name for a wild islander! as if that isn't getting tattooed on ya boyeeee!!
here is his girl shawn expecting at the end of this month!!! another beautiful human being roaming about the earth! congrats!

and finnally MEAGAN KELLN although unexpected also, this little baby seems to be a jem in her life too! yay!! I had a vision of her as one of the most kick butt moms around... look forward to watching her in action. the baby bump!!!

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death contemplation

déc. 5e, 2007 | 03:57 pm
mood: contemplativecontemplative

do you ever think about how you are going to die?
or that you are going to die?

walking past a cancer clinic today i thought about it
and realized i will probably die of cancer one day and probably watch many people around me die of it too
i don't think i think about that much
or can think about it much
don't think i have any idea what it is like to do either of those things really
we don't talk about it my university classes.

i am in a class with a man who is hiv positive. has known since he was 18.
i missed his performance today
i was sad to have missed it.
would have liked to share that experience with him.

listening to johny cash
thinking about how short his life was after he watched his wife die.
he lived because of / for her.
is that happy or sad or something else?

... it hurts..
that everyone we love leaves us in the end. and so do we.

mmm hmmmm..

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