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death contemplation

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déc. 5e, 2007 | 03:57 pm
mood: contemplativecontemplative

do you ever think about how you are going to die?
or that you are going to die?

walking past a cancer clinic today i thought about it
and realized i will probably die of cancer one day and probably watch many people around me die of it too
i don't think i think about that much
or can think about it much
don't think i have any idea what it is like to do either of those things really
we don't talk about it my university classes.

i am in a class with a man who is hiv positive. has known since he was 18.
i missed his performance today
i was sad to have missed it.
would have liked to share that experience with him.

listening to johny cash
thinking about how short his life was after he watched his wife die.
he lived because of / for her.
is that happy or sad or something else?

... it hurts..
that everyone we love leaves us in the end. and so do we.

mmm hmmmm..

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Comments {1}


from: anonymous
date: déc. 14e, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC)

Cancer, and especially the treatments, are a nightmare.
The doctors try to keep everyone off the emotional roller-coaster
by just assuming it is going to be fatal. Maybe they're right
in this case.
I suppose it's hard to find a better way to get people
to open their hearts, if maybe only to take an even greater blow.
People are dying everywhere, but this is different, isn't it?
It's hard to know if I'm mourning someone's death or their life..
after all, they did ask for a way out.
What I hear, is that it's like waking from a bad dream. That's what
they say. I hope they're right.

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